I am good with advice.
I take constructive criticism like no other.
I am the youngest of five, I have been told what to do my whole life.
So, when the French give me their unsolicited advice, it normally does not bother me. These days I would go so far as to say, it entertains me.
However, today when the bus was filled to capacity and no room for Aidan to sit and a completely intolerable Jaylee refused to let him sit on her lap, I did not push it. I let him stand.
This interaction was carefully watched by an overly tanned, feeble, leather back turtle, ur, I mean Parisian old lady.
Yes, there was whining, yes, there was moaning, but there was no crying or screaming. We were at our after school best/normal for the Rice's, when I see her old wrinkled, pointy finger pointing at Jaylee and she began speaking to her in a tone, ONLY I would use.
Jaylee shot her the best go to HELL look I have seen any five year old throw in my life. Jaylee let her finish and then threw in a "phewww" and rolled her eyes for good measure.
Good God I love that child!!!
How about this advice for the wrinkled old lady on bus 82:
  1. That blue eyeshadow/liner you applied at the skill of an eight year old: you should have skipped it this morning.
  2. That ratty ass nail, you so like to point at little children: You should have filed it. Also, the next time you so much as look at my child, let alone lift your decrepit finger, I'm going to knock your old ass out of the seat myself.
  3. In one of the many pharmacies on EVERY corner of Paris, there is a product called SPF, you should have bought yourself some YEARS ago.



Kerrie.sra@gmail.com said...


Cari said...

Jayless is awesome! Thats greatness!

patty said...

My advice would be to have that darlin' daughter of yours give that "Peace" sign that she is flashing in the photo to the 'ol hag. :)

patty said...


...still makes me giggle!

Kim McCaslin Schlieker said...

Go mama bear!!!