But sadly, flowers die and today was the day that has been building.
Jaylee has been the best sport during this whole move. O I feel the knot in the throat even now! And, unfortunately, I sometimes treat her like she is older than she is. For the sake of my sanity during this move I give into Aidan more than I ever would have Jaylee. If he is screaming I have her give up the toy, just to stop the crying. If he takes something from her, I will have her just get another toy, because I don't want to hear the bickering. So, for the last week or so, my little Jaylee has started to act differently. She has started talking like a baby from time to time, throws a fit with no warning, slams doors, you name it she has been doing it. I just keep telling myself it will get better when we are settled and she is in school. Well, that was wishful thinking. Today, at the park Jaylee wet herself. She has not done this in over a year. So, we got home cleaned her up and I stopped everything. No more "fixing" the apartment while they play. No more telling her to wait. No more "give it to your brother".
I sat down on the floor and played kitchen and baby dolls. Nothing else, just play. She was delighted and so was I. Then the kicker.
Jaylee has been missing her glasses for a while. Brandon and I just assumed that she threw them out again. She has done this twice. When I asked her to find them, she just said "they are in the brown bag". I looked, not there. So, from then on she just said, "I DON'T KNOW!!!" Then she decided that she would just eat fish to make her eyes better. Ugh.
Well, while playing dolls, I pulled out the "brown bag". Aidan's diaper bag. Guess what I found. When I showed her, she said, "I told you, you just wouldn't listen to me." So I told her mommy makes you say you're sorry and now mommy is sorry. O I am an ass.
So I held it in until Brandon came home and then let it out. Bless his heart, he never saw it coming. Just standing there cooking him some fish and out the tears flowed.
Well, at least a couple of good things came out of my cry day.
- I know that both of my kids need my individual attention more than ever.
- Jaylee will have public record when she is older and in therapy of why she is actually on the couch thanks to this blog entry...Just think, in some ways I am actually saving her some money. The therapist can read the blog and sum up all of her and Aidan's problems much faster. Voila.