off the top of my head

I am loving this song. Can't get it out of my head.

The kids love it too. To hear them say, "pantie snatcher" is just wrong, but it still makes me laugh.
Our friends are starting a church and we attended on Sunday. It's a small group so it feels like bible study and sadly for Brandon that small of a setting makes me feel like I can say whatever is in "my head". Not to mention they are friends, read this blog and I'm friends with them on Facebook, so trust me nothing I say would shock he or his wife.
After we left Brandon said,
"I knew what you were going to say before you would say it. I know you."
  • On the subject of helping those in need I may have said,
"I don't give money on the streets to homeless people that have highlights in their hair. I know how much highlights cost in Paris!"
  • He asked if we thought people were innately Good or Bad?
I said bad. Before children I would have said good.
Ever been around a infant who's hungry? Wet? Just simply wants something? They scream their heads off until they get it. You have to slowly teach them NOT to throw themselves on the ground while screaming.
Every heard of the terrible two's? Which is a lie, because it starts at 18 months, it's just that nobody want to scare you too early.
I rest my case at the unmentioned terrifying 3's.
You train them well through these stages then you have a "GOOD" if not, well good luck!
I am including my mothering in this category as well, no judgement here, at least not that I'm going to confess here.
  • At one point a young woman (college, no kids, she will come up again in this post (count this as foreshadowing)) said that guilt was built in, as in, we were born with it.
I disagree.
Your mother, father, and any Baptist or Catholic you may have encountered in your life introduced you to this fine feeling! Hang out with a two year old, they have no guilt whatsoever over waking you at 2:00am because they crapped themselves and feel like a small snack. None, I promise you.
  • For some reason I was also moved to confess that I elbowed an elderly man on Metro 1 last Friday. In my defense he did it first. I'm not even Catholic, I just felt like I should share in front of perfect strangers.
Which brings me to my last point. When you move to another country and meet people from the States you are always going to ask two questions or be asked two questions: "Where are you from?" and "How long have you been here?"
The first is just kind of an ice breaker, not that anyone really gives a shit where you're from, but let's say if I know someone in Paris from Texas, I can connect you with them and perhaps the two of you can make a connection and have a great friendship. Or, we could talk about how bad the Cowboys suck. Or how much we miss Mexican food. Something, it's called an icebreaker for a reason. But, when you meet someone at say, I don't know a casual Sunday morning gathering, and they say, "The Dust".
I reply with a "WHAT?".
I omit the dirty look because it is Sunday after all and I've already elbowed an "elderly" earlier in the week.
She replies something like, "You know from the dust we are born..." Oh, so you want to play (not said allowed), and yes I get it, I did have a VERY Baptist grandmother and yes I've read Genesis too and apparently didn't like it nearly as much as you do. But, considering you are flesh and bones and all 20 something I'm going to guess someone did the "deed" and in fact you were born in a hospital (again, not said aloud).
Condescending smile, "Yes, but what STATE were you born?".
I'll confess, I don't even remember what she said, because I quickly followed with "How long have you been in Paris?" and the answer was something like 6 weeks.
At 6 weeks you are still eating crap croissants because your baker doesn't like you enough to give you the really fresh ones and you are still smiling at everyone you see on the streets wandering what in the world is wrong with these people.
If you are an expat with at least a year under your belt, you know exactly what I mean. Because in the expat world if someone doesn't want to tell you where they are from it throws up a giant red flag. One, you're tres cool and subtle and we later find out you're a billionaire, Nobel peace prize winner, daughter in-law to Sarkozy, Saudi royalty, or daughter to one of France's best known author which trust me, it happens. Or two, you turn out to be from multiple States because you are running and hiding from the FBI and just in case that wasn't enough excitement, you thought you would throw in some fun with a girl tres younger than you, only to get busted because girls of this age post pictures to Facebook and like a dumb ass you are friends with your wives friends (because your wife isn't on Facebook, because she IS actually too COOL for Facebook, I'm not too cool for Facebook, I'm addicted) and your new little girlfriend decided to tag you.
So, here's a little tip, answer the ice breaker or it looks like you're covering your DUST!

Okay, since you went through all of that, you deserve this:



Kerrie said...

You know how I love Pink! But my fave song is F*ing Perfect and go away come back. I think even churchies can appreciate honesty and if not you know what the road to hell is paved with. See you there and I will be holding a glass of wine for you.

Carol said...

I would not say that we are born bad (well...some people are) but that we are born selfish and life is about learning to think of others first and yourself 2nd....very hard to do....

And as gorgeous as tattoo man is you could really get me in trouble here at work!

Love love love!


Peggy Rice said...

Sorry, Carol, but it's for a good reason, testicular cancer;-) you know kind of like feel your boobies, now it's feel your b...
Miss Kerrie, you would love this church, he played part of Talladega nights, the part about baby Jesus, hilarious, to show just how different Jesus is to everyone! Too funny.

Becky said...

You have made me laugh and cry in one posting. This is SO the truth. Not many will admit to elbowing an old dude but then again not all your peeps are from Texas. Nor are they Texas women. Love your insight!!!

gg said...

you're hilarious!!!

Kimberly said...

My, my. Aren't you in rare form. That's my girl! Preach it!
P.S. I will need to know how to order the best croissants. I don't have time for the crap ones!

Bill Carroll said...

"The Dust" sounds like a cowboy bar in Texas. Maybe that is where she is from?

Peggy Rice said...

Bill Carroll, that is why you are great!!!

Christine said...

Damn Peggy, you are too funny!