Well, I knew there was a reason I had put off going to the Dr. for a while.
The Dr. met me in the waiting room, even came out to get me himself. I should have known this was going to be an intimate relationship. He was very well dressed and newly bronzed. I on the other hand, came ready for the appointment with my flip flops and jeans and hair in a pony tail. I should have know this was a bad idea when the office was next door to Armani. Nonetheless, I forged on. I followed him into his office and sat confidently down in the seat.
We got through the formalities of all my aches and pains and then he stands up and says something about my pants. So I stood there and repeated "pants?" as if I didn't understand. So, he ever so politely said it again, this time with hand jesters.
Don't panic. Don't panic.
Reluctantly I remove the pants. Now is a good time to mention that I have not been in a swim suit in some time and that Brandon is out of town a fair bit. I might have gotten a bit lazy on my shaving duties. Did I mention I was wearing a thong? Shit. So I remove the pants and stand with my back to the chair...as if that is going to help.
It gets better.
Now he points to my top. I would also like to now mention that I was at the Rheumatologist. So I remove the top. As I stand there extremely uncomfortable in my skin he motions for me to have a seat on the table...and starts to examine my fingers!!! That's right I am now half naked to have my fingers examined. O' but it gets worse. Now he has me laying on my back and he is checking my knees and hips. I so wish that I would have waxed!
During this he asks me if my back hurts. Stupid me I say yes.
Now, I am standing with my white and ever so pasty back side facing Dr. Tan and I hear the words, "touch your toes." You have got to be kidding me. At this point I start laughing. Dr. Tan inquires to my nervous laughter and I simply state we just don't do this in the States. The whole nude thing that is. Completely motionless he says, "Why, it is essential for a complete examination." So I pull a half naked Jane Fonda in his office.
I swear this country is begging me to become an alcoholic.