Lessons from the cinema

My trick to entertaining the kids while it is cold, rainy and grey in Paris is taking them to the movies.

They love it.

I don't so much love the French way of doing the movies, but the kids do, so I suffer on.

Just think of people pushing others out of the way with their grumpy faces trying to get a seat on the metro. Now, just move that image right on over to the nearest cinema and you've got an idea of the movies in Paris.

Complete with jumping in front of you and your two kids in the popcorn line.

And yes, I piss people off at the movies as well.

The conscesion guy was not loving me for my inability to wave my popcorn coupon in the air,

laying it on the counter was not enough and clearly much to calm for his liking. So he proceeded to let me know how I should have SHOWED it to him in the first place.

I said, "Sorry".

He kept on.

I said, "Sorry" again.

He kept on.

I then made no attempt to "shhhh" Aidan's yelling for his popcorn and drink.

He let it go and quickly finished the sale.

Ass.

On to the movie...

Oceans (click on it for teaser) It's important, do it:)

I thought Aidan would be the one to love this one.

I was wrong.
After five minutes he figured out it was not Princess and the Frog for the second time, so he went to sleep.
Jaylee, on the other hand, was full of questions.
I too was amazed and completely impressed by the movie, mind you I'm not a Discovery/History Channel girl.
I'm more of an HGTV girl myself.
Nevertheless, I learned a thing or two.

• Shrimp are tough, I saw one kick a crabs ass.
• Crabs are mean little bastards and I will never feel bad eating another one again.
• Crabs eat their own, proving just what bastards they are.
• Crabs pile on one another with no regard for space, much like the metro, again bastards.
• Birds scare me when they swim.
• Dolphin sex appears to be the most non-invasive, non-climatic sex I've every witnessed.
• How we have any living turtles alive on this planet escapes me. Surely there is a better method than laying your eggs in the sand and then just as soon as the poor thing hatches, he is running like hell from the birds swooping in to eat them. Perhaps eight days versus seven days of creation would have been better to think that one through?
• It doesn't matter if you have eyes that rotate 360 degrees, someone can always sneak up on you.
• The people who cut off shark fins and then drop them back in the ocean to sink and suffocate to death should have their limbs removed and dropped in the ocean as well.
• I'm going to stick to the beaches, no venturing out for me.

Lastly, to the makers of this film, next time please have your narrator fill us mere mortals in on the species of animal/fish/mammal whatever the heck we are looking at because our children are spending the entire move leaning over in their chair, trying their best to whisper, "MOM, WHAT'S THAT". I'm not freaking Jacques Cousteau!

Cheers